“Pirate Radio” – the AM Band Disappeared

September 8, 2012 in Books

“Pirate Radio” is chapter 10 of Five Feet From the Cabin Door, part two of The Wayfarers fiction trilogy by Jim Yackel:

Before dialing back to the station playing all Christmas music, Brad decides to surf the FM dial to see if any other tidbits of information can be retrieved. It is when he has just about arrived at the end of the station spectrum that he stumbles upon something of interest being broadcast over the 107.5 frequency slot:

Pirate Radio - what if the AM radio band and the conservative talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, and Sean Hannity were suddenly eliminated?  Image (c) 2012 Jim Yackel

Pirate Radio poster ad.

This is the end of America as we know it. While these may likely be the Biblical End Times, this is definitively America’s End of Days. For those of you who don’t yet know, my alias is Captain Cannady and I am in command of the ship christened Pirate Radio One. What is my legal birth name? That I cannot reveal for the sake of my own personal safety.

“Oooh, this sounds cool!” Brown Leather Jacket Guy says with a childlike glee. “Shush, Brother, so we can hear!” Orange politely admonishes him.

He is coming in clear, which would indicate that his location was local:

Again, to review: If you have spent the day in a drug-induced haze, have been living under a rock, or have been asleep because you work the night shift: Citizens and illegal aliens, we have been attacked! Boom, boom, boom, the lights have gone out! Up until a few minutes ago, we had electric power here at my less than secure but carefully concealed location. But now, the juice is gone along with the phones, the internet, and the AM radio band.

So, with back-up generator power I am able to broadcast on the vacant 107.5 FM slot, as I have been since this afternoon. I would take your calls and your e-mails if I was able to, but obviously I cannot. Why can’t I? Because the Federal Government that is supposed to protect your freedom and safety has deemed it unsafe for these modes of telecommunications to be functioning! These twenty-first century Stalinists have pulled the proverbial and literal plugs! I for one will not stand for this! Will you rise up with me!? Will you!? This day is the start of the New American Revolution if we can survive long enough to begin waging the war!

Terrorists from Third World nations have set out to turn America into a banana republic. And while they have inflicted great damage and considerable loss of life on this dreadful day of infamy, they could not have dreamed up a better scenario for themselves. These dirty vermin could not envision a scenario where the U.S. Government would pick up the ball and run with it! Or, could they? These vile creatures who subscribe to a religion of death could never have hoped that in the name of “protection,” this government would itself bring death to some of those who refuse to buckle-down under the iron fist of an extreme, fascistic state of emergency or “Martial Law” as this President has referred to it on this dreadful day of infamy.

It appears that they saw these attacks coming, if we are to believe what we heard a young man named Brian who works in some capacity for the President say over the FM band earlier today – thinking that the microphone was turned off. It was still on, Brian! And yes, Mr. President, the microphone that you thought had been disabled was indeed able and it enabled those of us with listening ears to hear your underling Brian admit that you had intelligence that you refused to act on. You are a murderer, Mr. President! You are a malignant opportunist. You are a stain on the most lofty and prestigious office in the entire world. Shame, shame, shame on you!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I pray that you had the foresight and wisdom to heed the warnings in recent years to prepare for times such as these that we now find ourselves immersed in. I hope that you took the time and nominal expense to store away a supply of non-perishable food items and bottled water. I hope you did not scoff when experts advised you to stock up on clothing, shoes, and blankets enough for your entire family and some extra for neighbors as well. Folks, if you can hear my voice you likely are listening through a battery-powered radio, which could mean that you stocked up on batteries and flashlights to help keep you safe and prepared when the “Big One” came. Well, my dear friends, you would be justified in saying that today the Big One did come. In reality, the Big One was and is comprised of a number of simultaneous smaller ones in various cities that equal one devastatingly big event.

So, hopefully, you have matches, a kerosene heater and fuel for that heater. Please, tell me that you have a well-stocked First Aid kit, which would include Cadmium, Phosphorus, and Iodine pills to help fight off the effects of radiation sickness. Not that I can hear you, but please tell me anyway! Scream at your radio if you need to! Let it out!

Those of you who are in my listening audience; you must not allow any more of this. If you are armed, take up your arms and fight back! Like those who fought for freedom from a tyrannical British king in the first American Revolution, do not be afraid to fight to the death. They have tried to take away your right to bear arms, and now you must utilize that very right. Give us freedom, or give us death!

I cannot help but think that at least a few if not many of those who wear the uniform for this country will consider what this government is now asking them to do and instead join the side of freedom, which is our side. They were sworn to defend the Constitution and we the people of this union are the human manifestation of that Constitution. Some, if not many of our armed services personnel and police officers will join forces with us!

People of Central New York, we must rise up and do so now! People around the nation will join us. We are not alone in this cause, and today the gauntlet has been thrown down. Rise up and fight!

This is Captain Cannady of Pirate Radio One, signing off for just a little while in order to reconnoiter. Right now, I broadcast over 107.5 on the FM dial but if you don’t find me back here surf until you find me somewhere else on the FM band, or someone else like me.

My life is in danger and my location is less than secure, so your prayers on my behalf would be appreciated. God bless you and God bless America.

“I recognize that voice!” Orange says with excitement. “I know who he is, and his last name isn’t Cannady. His first name is John and he can and will defend himself. I’m proud of him for what he is doing.”

“Was that John Alvares, the former Marine who had a radio show for a little while here locally?” asks Brown Leather Jacket Guy.

“I’m nearly certain it was him” answers Orange. “But, we don’t know how far on the down-low he can go and still broadcast, especially illegally like he’s doing now.”

“I’ll leave it here for a few more minutes to see if he comes back on” Brad says. “If he doesn’t, I’m going to dial back to the Christmas music station because I’m full of holiday cheer” he then adds sarcastically.

“I count it a blessing that the batteries in that radio have lasted as long as they have” Orange says. He then adds: “we should have stocked up like ‘Captain Cannady’ suggested. The problem is, no entrepreneurs ever thought to open a mini-market out here on the Towpath.”

“You think it would do any business out here?” the Young One asks, and he sounds as if his question is being asked literally and not in humor.

“You’d need people and cars in order to succeed in a mini market business. Both of those components are in exceedingly short supply out here in these hinterlands” Orange answers and sounds equally as literal.

You are not participating in this conversation but merely listening while you walk. Conversely, your thoughts wander to Cyn and Dave and you get the sense that all is not well for those two; more than just relationally but also physically. What you don’t know is that your sense is right on, but Dave is fine where he is now while Cyn exists in eternal misery.

The Boy Scouts continue to chatter on through a myriad of topics while you walk and listen to the crunching under your feet. There is a loud snap as you step on a small, dead tree branch that was lying in your path. You find it odd that none of the guys stepped on it first as they are walking a few steps ahead of you.

It would be terrific if there was a mini market out here, as you are low on smokes and could use a bite to eat and some bottled water. But, the demand for such an establishment would be negligible on a 10 foot wide footpath with no automobile traffic!

You recall telling the original four when you met them at the start of this journey that they needed to get you back in time for Last Call. You now fully realize that getting into a bar tonight for a drink is impossible, unless you happen across one out here on the Erie Canal Towpath – right next to the 7-11 that isn’t there! But, the truth of the matter is this: you no longer crave that drink.

Freedom and safety are things that you have always taken for granted as an American citizen. As of tonight, you have learned that these privileges can’t in fact be taken for granted.

It is now that the grim realization is hitting you that there is not one thing in this nation or this world that can any longer be considered sacrosanct. Likewise, there is no one to trust but family, friends, and most of all, God.

Life has become simplified since the attacks of this afternoon; first from Al Qaeda and then from the U.S. Government. Life in this nation and on Earth now has so much to do with mere survival.

…Seven minutes after temporarily signing off, Captain Cannady returns to the air:

I urge all citizens within the sound of my voice to rise up and battle Tyranny’s fist that is intent upon stamping the life out of us that won’t submit. The brain that controls the motion of that fist is situated in Washington, D.C. – unless the secret, secure location is located elsewhere. I have friends who know the location of the secret, secure, location – but I can’t reach them by phone because Tyranny’s fist has ripped down the phone lines!

What we are seeing today and tonight is not the America that Washington and Jefferson envisioned. What has happened to our Republic is something that Reagan would not have allowed. Are you going to stand for this? Are you willing to allow America’s freedoms to be degraded to a point that is perhaps lower than what
Khrushchev and Castro forced on their respective nation’s people? I hope not, dear friends! I think not!

There is no negotiating with this evil. I will not deny that heinous acts were committed against this nation by a foreign terror group with operatives inside of our borders. These operatives found it easy to sneak in and set up shop due to lax immigration laws. Now, we see what happens when the most free and
prosperous country in the world does not secure its borders. And, to add salt to these open wounds, we see the result of votes cast by a lazy electorate who chooses to remain ill-informed while being lied to by the seditious television and print media. We see the damage wrought by the liberal elites not only from our east and west coasts but from Europe as well. We see 1960’s radicalism reaching its full level of maturity. We see now, and we do not like what we are looking down the barrel of!

America, you are now awake. America, you must now take arms against the oppressors that will be roaming our streets and knocking at our doors – whether they are American or foreign. The terror attacks were terrible enough, but the response of this gov–

Captain Cannady is cut out at mid sentence. There is dead air for a moment, while Orange and Brad look at each other confused. Then, the song Strawberry Letter 23 by the Brothers Johnson begins to play, filling the empty space on 107.5 FM.

“I’m thinking the worst but praying that it’s not” Orange says. “But, hey, I’ve always liked that song. Still, we’ve got to hope that they didn’t find him. The best way to operate a Pirate Radio station is from the back of a van, so you can keep changing location. He is – and I’m being hopeful by saying ‘is’ instead of ‘was’ – most likely inside of a stationary set-up, because moving around in a vehicle right now would get you caught for sure.”

“You speak like someone who’s run a pirate radio station!” offers Colts Hoodie Guy.

“I’ve always entertained the idea, but regular, legal radio is more what I’d be interested in. I’m only an outlaw in my own mind!” answers Orange with a chuckle. He then says “I’m glad that we’ve finally mastered the art of walking while talking, because–”

You interrupt Orange and say “yes, we know, we need to keep moving!”

“And we’re moving on” is his response.

The Beatles song Think for Yourself begins to play on 107.5 FM as the Brothers Johnson conclude, and Brad begins moving the dial back down to 94.5 for more Christmas music. “Hey, I wanted to hear that” Orange says to Brad, sounding disappointed.

“It’s just like when you hold the remote” Brad responds to Orange with a mock-sinister snicker.

O Holy Night by Mercy Me is playing as 94.5 is tuned in, and it puts a wistful smile in Orange’s eyes.


“The Wayfarers | Five Feet From the Cabin Door” as well as the rest of the trilogy are available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and iBook here.


Subscribe in a reader